IUPUI’S SPAN PROGRAM –FROM A PARENT’S PERSPECTIVE
Academic (or intellectual) maturity versus emotional maturity
OK, so you’re now willing to admit that your child is bright, very bright. And
your child thinks they would like to see if they could handle freshman and
sophomore college classes. Does that then mean that they are also fully
emotionally mature individuals? Nooooooooo!
They are still teenagers, capable of behaving like two- year-olds on a bad day.
They still can giggle all night long at a sleep over. They can doodle, shoot spit-
wads, pass notes in class and participate in all manner of immature (and fun-
loving) behaviors. And they should – it’s all part of growing up. But the great
thing about the SPAN program is that they can receive a challenging
education, while still living at home where they can continue social activities
at church, scouts, 4-H, etc. They can plan movie nights with their inner circle
of friends. In other words, they can still “just be kids.” Finding a balance
between education, work, extra-curricular activities, and fun is critical to
success in SPAN.
Is there a danger of a teenager, yes even a really smart one, being overly
influenced by regular college-age students? We have given this a great deal of
thought. College campuses have always had a reputation for wild times, e.g.
crowded telephone booths, goldfish swallowing, streaking and, horror of
horrors, anything in the movie Animal House! But remember, IUPUI is
largely a commuter campus, with lots of students still living at home, still
somewhat sheltered. Also, the legal drinking age is still 21in Indiana, and
IUPUI has no campus fraternity houses that might try to evade such legal
limits.
What about dating? Yes, that gave us some concern, as well. What we have
done is to establish the following rule for our teens: “They may look but
cannot touch.” What do we mean? Just this, no dating with anyone more than
two years older or younger. Period. Enough said. And in fact this has worked
out very well. They know they can talk to and be friends with any student,
but that is it. Consequently, if the girls get “hit on” at lunchtime or in the
library, no problem. The answer is no. No need to even think about it and no
need to explain to anyone. Case closed.
And for those who do meet the requirements, both by age and academically
(the 3.0 GPA—grade point average), we established the five rules of dating.
They may date as long as they meet these requirements:
1. No alcohol.
2. No drugs, no smoking.
3. No fast cars. What do we mean? If a person gets a ticket while
driving my daughter, and it’s for more than 10 miles per hour over the
speed limit, then they won’t be going out together anymore. They will be
dating in my living room. It goes for a seatbelt infraction. And there will be
no second chances.
4. No sex. High-risk behavior is common among gifted teens that aren’
t academically challenged. But it can be career ending, so there will be
no exceptions. No sex.
5. If your GPA falls below a 3.0 accumulative, from then until the end
of the semester (when it better be much higher) there will be no further
dating. This doesn’t include social events, such as a group movie. But if it
is really love, it can wait until the end of the semester.
Most families seem to make dating rules on a daily basis. It was our
experience that what was desired was a set of permanent rules so our
teens knew exactly where they stood. These Five Rules of Dating made it
simple and very understandable. Post ‘em by the back door – they’ll get
it.
Another concern we had was for personal safety. If your student happens to
have a buddy who is accepted into SPAN also, it can be great for them to take
as many freshman classes together as possible. After all, there is safety in
numbers. Or Dr. Russell could help get your student acquainted with other
SPAN students. Additionally, we have noticed that EVERYONE seems to
have a cell phone on campus. And we must admit that cell phones are great.
In fact, we consider a cell phone essential; classes’ cancel, tests finish early,
and emergencies arise. The added security is well worth the additional
expense.
Another word of caution; High school is apt to be a place where information is
handed to your child and it is expected that they will regurgitate it to the
teacher at test time. Homework tends to be given in small daily assignments,
which are graded frequently. It is hard to get behind. College is not like that.
College requires greater organizational skills. Grades tend to be based on
larger projects that demonstrate an understanding of the material and an
ability to implement it. Homework is rarely collected. If a student has
difficulty understanding the material, they are expected to ask questions of
the teacher during office hours or find someone in class with whom to study.
Students must take responsibility for their education. The ability to stay on
top of the work daily and break larger projects into smaller sections is
important. They must be self-motivated and able to succeed without a teacher
constantly supervising their performance.
And one last word of warning; we have noticed that adult subject matter may
be presented, especially in English, literature, and social studies courses. For
example, Freud and Oedipus are not uncommon topics for discussion in college
classrooms. Atheism, communism, and agnosticism – all kinds of topics can
come up for classroom debate. But we figure that these topics could come up in
any college classroom. With SPAN, we at least have the advantage of
discussing the topic with our child to advance our viewpoint and let both sides
of issues be heard.
We suggest you discuss with your son or daughter whether he or she is ready
mentally and emotionally for all these challenges before enrolling in SPAN.
Academic (or intellectual) maturity versus emotional maturity
OK, so you’re now willing to admit that your child is bright, very bright. And
your child thinks they would like to see if they could handle freshman and
sophomore college classes. Does that then mean that they are also fully
emotionally mature individuals? Nooooooooo!
They are still teenagers, capable of behaving like two- year-olds on a bad day.
They still can giggle all night long at a sleep over. They can doodle, shoot spit-
wads, pass notes in class and participate in all manner of immature (and fun-
loving) behaviors. And they should – it’s all part of growing up. But the great
thing about the SPAN program is that they can receive a challenging
education, while still living at home where they can continue social activities
at church, scouts, 4-H, etc. They can plan movie nights with their inner circle
of friends. In other words, they can still “just be kids.” Finding a balance
between education, work, extra-curricular activities, and fun is critical to
success in SPAN.
Is there a danger of a teenager, yes even a really smart one, being overly
influenced by regular college-age students? We have given this a great deal of
thought. College campuses have always had a reputation for wild times, e.g.
crowded telephone booths, goldfish swallowing, streaking and, horror of
horrors, anything in the movie Animal House! But remember, IUPUI is
largely a commuter campus, with lots of students still living at home, still
somewhat sheltered. Also, the legal drinking age is still 21in Indiana, and
IUPUI has no campus fraternity houses that might try to evade such legal
limits.
What about dating? Yes, that gave us some concern, as well. What we have
done is to establish the following rule for our teens: “They may look but
cannot touch.” What do we mean? Just this, no dating with anyone more than
two years older or younger. Period. Enough said. And in fact this has worked
out very well. They know they can talk to and be friends with any student,
but that is it. Consequently, if the girls get “hit on” at lunchtime or in the
library, no problem. The answer is no. No need to even think about it and no
need to explain to anyone. Case closed.
And for those who do meet the requirements, both by age and academically
(the 3.0 GPA—grade point average), we established the five rules of dating.
They may date as long as they meet these requirements:
1. No alcohol.
2. No drugs, no smoking.
3. No fast cars. What do we mean? If a person gets a ticket while
driving my daughter, and it’s for more than 10 miles per hour over the
speed limit, then they won’t be going out together anymore. They will be
dating in my living room. It goes for a seatbelt infraction. And there will be
no second chances.
4. No sex. High-risk behavior is common among gifted teens that aren’
t academically challenged. But it can be career ending, so there will be
no exceptions. No sex.
5. If your GPA falls below a 3.0 accumulative, from then until the end
of the semester (when it better be much higher) there will be no further
dating. This doesn’t include social events, such as a group movie. But if it
is really love, it can wait until the end of the semester.
Most families seem to make dating rules on a daily basis. It was our
experience that what was desired was a set of permanent rules so our
teens knew exactly where they stood. These Five Rules of Dating made it
simple and very understandable. Post ‘em by the back door – they’ll get
it.
Another concern we had was for personal safety. If your student happens to
have a buddy who is accepted into SPAN also, it can be great for them to take
as many freshman classes together as possible. After all, there is safety in
numbers. Or Dr. Russell could help get your student acquainted with other
SPAN students. Additionally, we have noticed that EVERYONE seems to
have a cell phone on campus. And we must admit that cell phones are great.
In fact, we consider a cell phone essential; classes’ cancel, tests finish early,
and emergencies arise. The added security is well worth the additional
expense.
Another word of caution; High school is apt to be a place where information is
handed to your child and it is expected that they will regurgitate it to the
teacher at test time. Homework tends to be given in small daily assignments,
which are graded frequently. It is hard to get behind. College is not like that.
College requires greater organizational skills. Grades tend to be based on
larger projects that demonstrate an understanding of the material and an
ability to implement it. Homework is rarely collected. If a student has
difficulty understanding the material, they are expected to ask questions of
the teacher during office hours or find someone in class with whom to study.
Students must take responsibility for their education. The ability to stay on
top of the work daily and break larger projects into smaller sections is
important. They must be self-motivated and able to succeed without a teacher
constantly supervising their performance.
And one last word of warning; we have noticed that adult subject matter may
be presented, especially in English, literature, and social studies courses. For
example, Freud and Oedipus are not uncommon topics for discussion in college
classrooms. Atheism, communism, and agnosticism – all kinds of topics can
come up for classroom debate. But we figure that these topics could come up in
any college classroom. With SPAN, we at least have the advantage of
discussing the topic with our child to advance our viewpoint and let both sides
of issues be heard.
We suggest you discuss with your son or daughter whether he or she is ready
mentally and emotionally for all these challenges before enrolling in SPAN.
| About IUPUI SPAN Program- Academic vs Emotional Maturity |
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| An early college high school for the virtually unlimited student. |